Recently, during a gathering with my girlfriends, when the topic of dating came up, everyone unanimously sighed: Dating nowadays is really a technical skill! Especially when it comes to chatting, it seems simple, but it has caused many people to stumble on the path of love. As someone who has experienced the transition from "awkward chats" to "smooth conversations," I want to share some of my insights today.
I remember when I first started dating, I often found myself in the embarrassing position of being a "conversation killer." Once, when chatting with my boyfriend about food, I mentioned that I like spicy food, but he couldn't handle any spice at all. At that moment, I thought: Oh no, what are we going to do about meals in the future? Later, I realized that such differences could actually become highlights of our conversations. For example, I would jokingly say, "Looks like we'll need to prepare two sets of utensils in the future, one for spicy food and one for the mild version." This not only diffused the awkwardness but also made the conversation more interesting.
When it comes to chatting skills, I think the most important thing is to learn "dual-line thinking." As my girlfriend said, what attracted her most about her boyfriend wasn't the topics they discussed, but how he always made her laugh. For instance, once when she complained about work stress, instead of directly comforting her, her boyfriend said, "How about we start a company? You can be the CEO, and I'll be your personal masseuse." This humorous response instantly lifted her spirits.
However, humor should also be used with discretion. I remember a friend sharing her experience: during the initial dates, the guy always used internet slang and jokes to liven up the atmosphere, but it ended up making her feel that he wasn't being sincere. So I believe that humor should be based on sincerity, not just for the sake of being funny.
When it comes to meeting up, I particularly agree with one viewpoint: it's important to balance the relationship. There was a suitor who always said, "My treat," whenever he asked me out. Although it sounded gentlemanly, it always made me feel pressured. Later, when I met my current boyfriend, he would say, "I heard there's a new trendy restaurant. Want to check it out together? My treat, and you can take photos for your social media." This relaxed approach made me more willing to go out with him.
Finally, I want to say that there is no standard answer to chatting in a relationship. As netizen @Sweetheart said, "Instead of worrying about how to chat, just be your true self." Indeed, everyone has their own charm, and the key is to find the way of expression that suits you best. I hope these insights of mine can inspire those of you on the path of love. Remember, the best state of chatting is when both people can comfortably and naturally be themselves.